The Inventory Looking Back

So my friend who had pointed me at the death/dying questions, and offered some of his insights to my inquiry, has insights aplenty to offer.

A couple of years ago, maybe a little longer, I called him after not talking to him for quite a while. He launched into the conversation by saying "You don't know what's happened, do you?" To which I said, "No, I guess I don't..." and I really didn't.

He had had an aneurysm at or just after a lunch meeting that would probably have killed him if he hadn't gotten immediate medical treatment. As it was he woke in the hospital to face the prospect of having to relearn to walk, talk, and just do the simple business of daily living. He's a few years younger than me and has always been a pretty impressive guy physically, and while he has a ways yet to go, his commitment to himself is to run and ski again.

What's interesting to me is that while dealing with this lemon that life handed him he has continued to make and sustain honest and mutually satisfaying relationships (like the one we have) and to engage life with his own inquiry about its meaning and value.

So just recently we had a brief version of the "I've been thinking about what kind of difference I have made" conversation, and we arrived at an interesting stopping point. (I won't say conclusion, because the question is still open.) I know if I look back at my life and work there are a lot of interesting, I think valuable, and in the longer view decidedly emphemeral things I have done. That dual career path, the organization redesign, the leadership seminar, etc. etc. were all good work, were all of some value to the organizations and people they touched, and none of it lasted beyond the next year's reorganization or my own moving on to a new role. The corporate world has the attention span of a two year old. Two of the companies where I did my best work don't even exist anymore.

Where we came out in the conversation is that it seems that it has been the small "touches" that probably are the things that have the most value and actually have endured in some way in the people touched. It's the small acts. It's about living in the day to day world as best you can.